God's Design for the Christian Family

Please read Ephesians 5:22-33.

Over the last two years I used this passage three times in a message to a Christian audience in The Netherlands. It seemed to me that this passage is not very familiar by many, not just because less Christians spend significant time in studying the Word but also because Pauls exposition on God's design for the Christian family is no longer compatible with the modern way of thinking about men and women. The third time I did this message, it was addressed to the Christian cell group for which my wife and I were appointed leaders. One young woman, a leader in the church, was clearly upset. There are so many other passages on men and women, why had I chosen this one? It seemed pretty obvious that Paul's teaching, in its natural reading, did not jive well with her own perception on how things ought to be- also in the church of Christ. During the rest of the meeting, we felt a growing animosity towards our leadership. Over time I came to realize that this was just another example of the intolerance of modern tolerance. (more about this in a later post)

What is God's design for the Christian family according to the passage in Paul's letter to the Ephesians?

We all, as Christ's disciples, are urged to follow the apostles as our models. When men like Paul, Timothy, and James realized what God, in Christ, had done for them (in His sacrificial love, demonstrated on the cross), they volunteered to be his slaves. When we begin to discern what Jesus has done for us, we too, will voluntarily surrender all of our ambitions, hopes, and plans into his hands!

God, in Jesus, loves his people (the followers of all times) so much that he sacrificed his status, his glory, and his life in order to build them up as his shining Church, reflecting his glory in a darkened world. (Clearly, the biblical view of 'true love' is not self-seeking but self-sacrificing!)
The Christian husband is to love his wife in the same way: not pushing his own will, his own desires or pleasures, but willing to give up even his own status, glory, and his life in order to build up his wife as a godly woman, liberated and empowered to show God's glory.

Just as the Christian husband is called to demonstrate the love of Christ to his wife, so she is called to demonstrate her voluntary submission to her husband, because behind him and in him she recognizes her loving Savior, Jesus Christ.
Throughout the centuries Christians have seen this as God's beautiful design. When the Church, the Christian husbands and their wives, are determined to live in accordance with His design, we will see harmony and love as the blessings of God.

Submission to what, to whom?

When the church becomes more informed and affected by the secular world than by God's Word, it will lose the sense of awe for and beauty in God's design. Focusing on the effects of human selfishness in abuse (for instance) of husbands inflicted on their wives, they grow to prefer the feministic egalitarian design as the best solution for the problem. And so, the form for Christian marriage must be altered to fit the changing times. Voluntary submission must be scrapped as this is considered a shameful remant of or male-dominated (and hence, woman-suppressing) past.

If, however, the church seeks to be immersed in God's Word as it is brought to us by His Spirit in the letter of Paul (not: the Bible as it comes to us through human authors, skewed in their perceptions by their primitive cultural context), then it would continue to uphold and work out God's beautiful design.
If male-to-female abuse is found in the church, then men must be urged to follow Christ in His self-sacrificing love towards His Bride. And if the form for Christian marriage does not sufficiently emphasize this mandate for the males or the church does not dare to discipline those who refuse to follow Christ in his love, then the church needs reformation, not the abolition of the form for Christian marriage.

The modern church prides itself in becoming more godly and more loving to women, yet it sets itself up for disaster. Having despised God's instruction, unless there will be a reformation and revival, there will be growing darkness until finally Jesus removes the Light.
How long will it take before these churches too will dismiss the Great Commission and abandon the belief that salvation can only be found by true faith in Jesus Christ?