As we become aware that we all too often
still cling to (little) idols in our lives, it becomes more difficult to
exercise church discipline. As our Lord warned us, “It’s far easier to see the
splinter in another’s eye than the log in our own!” Personally, culturally, and as a church
denomination, we tend to create our own particular set of criteria for ‘Christian
living’, thereby becoming ‘judges with evil thoughts’. We especially came to realize this when we
were put and kept under discipline on the charge of heresy.
In China, we had a strong awareness of
cultural differences. Even though the main idols were the same as “at home”, yet
Christians seemed to operate with a somewhat different set of criteria. Also,
our gatherings seemed to have a great diversity of people regarding their
spiritual state. A few regulars had been Christian believers for ten years or
more, while many others had more recently converted. Then there were serious
seekers as well as curious types, and finally we had one young woman, who was
determined not to accept the Gospel. Since we had no official membership, it
seemed difficult -if not plain wrong- to set strict criteria for all to adhere
to. Although we always had a clear warning for attending the Communion, and
although we tried to have a serious examination before administering baptism,
real church discipline was mostly restricted to the preaching. Personal
confrontation about lifestyle practices happened more informally by our Chinese
partners and only formally with us where it involved leaders appointed in the
church.
While trying to be considerate of cultural
differences, I always endeavored not to water down the apostolic teaching, also
where it relates to godly living. Nevertheless, I believe we have to be careful
not to create a culture of peer pressure where certain dos and don’ts are
(formally or informally) enforced. So easily this results in a subculture that
is driven by wrong motivations. What good is it if people follow a prescribed
lifestyle in order to win or keep the approval of their family or friends or
church community? For good or for bad, we should not be ‘pleasers of men’ but
rather to seek out how to please God in genuine personal thankfulness for his
amazing grace!
Early 2014 we already told our Chinese
co-workers that we would leave the ministry in the summer of 2015. During the fall
and winter of last year it finally dawned on the group that big changes were on
the way. At that time we had -besides ourselves (as church planting couple and
coordinators)- three female co-workers: one evangelist and two deacons. Earlier
we had a male elder, but he left us with his wife when we had to ask some
serious questions regarding attitudes and lifestyle.
During the winter, the question on
everybody’s mind was: ‘What will happen when we lose the planters and our
teaching pastor?’ Over time I had the
sense that the preaching did not get through to some of the regular attenders.
Behind the surface of nice and friendly folk, there was at time, for instance, a
strong yearning among the single and divorced women to find a foreign partner.
In this yearning, as I once suggested in the sermon, there seemed to be more
desire to be sexy than to be godly. When it became clear how this idolatry was
promoted in a certain group of friends, I became quite sad and disappointed. I
sensed that God was telling us, “Look, if we are willing to be transformed by
God’s Word and Spirit, and get rid of our idols in our lives, then God will
bless this congregation, even when the leaders leave. On the other hand, if we
refuse to do this, and we cling to our idols, our church will become weaker,
and soon it will fall apart.”
Even when I made it clear that this ought
to be a matter of real concern, one of the deacons, Sister G, seemed
unresponsive to the preaching. When I, almost accidentally, found her Facebook
page, I was deeply grieved. Apparently, the only Christian she had invited as a
‘friend’ was an American brother, who had contact with a lot of foreigners (due
to his job in the local entertainment industry). Besides him and his Chinese
wife, there was a long list of foreigners, almost all guys and most of them
quite obviously not Christians.
After a number of weeks the time was
finally right to confront Sister G on this issue. After our Sunday meeting, I
stopped her for a chat. Only Marioka and our evangelist were present when I
talked to her. For a few minutes she
maintained that her Facebook page was inactive and she no longer cared about
maintaining it. When I made some suggestions to stop it and to start a new
life, she flew into a rage: it was none of our business what she did in her
private life. I warned her that we could not have a church leader, who would
privately follow worldly desires. Sister G walked out on us and never returned
to any of our meetings.
Although it’s always saddening when people
seem to harden themselves and walk away, soon afterwards, we actually felt the
church was strengthened and renewed. It also produced another –perhaps
unforeseen- blessing. The deacon who had left had on several occasions pushed
her personal position in a leadership discussion. For instance, when our
Chinese co-workers had an open discussion about switching to a more clear and
contemporary Chinese Bible translation, this deacon had vetoed the discussion.
Without further listening to others, she insisted we should continue with the
old translation. At that time I had decided not to pursue this issue. I would
rather continue using an older translation than risking a split among the
leadership. Later we realized that her
departure helped to build a stronger leadership that would not so easily be
challenged by unnecessary conflicts.
Soli Deo Gloria
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